Charlize Theron, per usual, is doing god’s work. Last week, Theron went viral for her appearance on Subway Takes, saying “I would like to make love to you” is her ultimate ick. Her impassioned speech against the phrase “make love” also reminded us that Theron f*cks, and that women in their 40s and 50s are the horniest they have ever been, will ever be, or have any business being.

Men who say MAKE LOVE fall into two demographics. American men born between 1988 and 1995, or Europeans whose first language is a Romance language. I can’t imagine Theron would be turned off because of a language translation. So the one who turned her off was almost certainly a younger man. We also happen to know that she had a “really f*cking amazing” one night stand with a 26-year-old last year.

In my head I automatically made the 26-year-old the same lover as the Ick Guy. I don’t know why. Maybe it wasn’t just a one night stand like she claimed and this is some negging foreplay. Anyway, all that aside, Theron’s Subway Takes appearance screamed “I date younger men” to me—a hot topic if the success of my recent column talking to those younger men is to be believed. 

In the spirit of equality, and also because I would pay a million dollars to have Theron follow me around for a day telling me about her entire sex life (again women in their 40s and 50s are horny), I asked five women to explain why they like being with younger men. I can’t afford Theron, so this will have to do.

Maya, 47, doctor:

“He’s been in therapy since he was 19. My ex would go silent for three days and come back with grievances handwritten on a legal pad. This one says ‘I’m activated, can we slow down,’ and we slow down. I didn’t know it could work that way…”

Theresa, 51, attorney:

“He has friends. Real ones. Band on Wednesdays, poker on Thursdays. My ex had nobody by 45. I couldn’t even take a bath without him hanging around.”

Lila, 44, graphic designer:

“He’s never been married. I’m the first serious relationship he’s had. When I get quiet at dinner he asks me what I’m thinking. He doesn’t assume I’m angry, the way my ex would, because his ex used to get quiet when she was angry. I am brand new information to him.”

Diane, 56, restaurateur:

“He’s 41 and he runs his own life. Makes his own dentist appointments. Calls his mother on her birthday without me reminding him. I was married for 22 years… I was that man’s secretary the whole time. After he died I dated three men my age. Every one of them needed a mother. This one just wants to have dinner.”

Bridget, 49, painter:

“He’s 36 and at the peak of his career. So am I. I had a baby at 25 and gave up painting until she went to college, which is a long time. He has a startup. We both work like maniacs. We meet for sex at 10 p.m. on weekdays. Sometimes we don’t talk for two days because we’re both working. Older men expected me to slow down because they were slowing down. I never slowed down. I just started later.”

Maya found language. Theresa found friends. Lila found brand new information. Diane found a person, not a household. Bridget found a peer. None of them used the word lucky.

None of them slowed down. They started later. The math is finally in our favor. 

Text the 30-year-old. FaceTime the 30-year-old.

Thank Charlize.