We’ve all been there. You’ve been enjoying a worry-free sex life with your partner. Life has been good. And then she looks at the calendar and starts frantically doing math like Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind.

It hits her. Her period is late, and you two may have been less than diligent with protection. Even if you were diligent, there is a chance—a tiny one, but a chance nonetheless—that she’s pregnant.

You start googling. “How late does someone need to be before being concerned about pregnancy?” “How accurate are OTC pregnancy tests?” “Reasons a period can be late besides pregnancy?” You’re about to lose your damn mind.

A day late turns into two days late, then five days late, then a full week. All the pregnancy tests have one line on them instead of two. But if everything was okay, she would have gotten her period by now, right? Right? It’s an awful cycle, and it gets worse with each passing day because stress causes her period to be delayed even more (which is something you learned from Google).

It’s an awful situation. But there are some things you can do.

Let her act irrationally. Just fucking do it.

Does your girlfriend want to take a pregnancy test every day her period is late even though the past four tests said she was in the clear? Did she read somewhere that parsley tea helps induce menstruation, so she started drinking five cups a day of something that tastes like lawn clippings? Does she want to take a day off of work because she can’t focus? All of this sound a little insane, right? Wrong. Let her do these things, and don’t judge for it. Let her buy the 38-pack of pregnancy tests from Costco and use every single one. Let her drink her voodoo tea. Let her call out of work. Don’t say a word.

Don’t keep assuring her she’s not pregnant.

You may think this will help calm her down. It won’t. Instead tell her that—no matter what—it’s going to be okay. Assure her you’re not going anywhere—now is not the time to ghost, either physically or emotionally—and you two will figure it out regardless of the outcome. If you keep just saying, “I’m sure you’re not pregnant” over and over, it will come off as dismissive and infuriate her. The truth is, unless Ms. Frizzle shrinks you down and takes you on an adventure inside your partner’s uterus, you don’t know.

Don’t pressure her.

Ideally, early on in your relationship you would have had a conversation about what you would do in case of an unplanned pregnancy, so hopefully that’s already settled. If you haven’t, wait for her to come to you instead of sharing your plan unprompted. If you’re in a caring, loving relationship, she most likely will come to you—either to ask for your opinion or share what she would like to do with her body—but be patient and wait until that time comes. Sharing your thoughts when you haven’t been asked can come across as patronizing, pressuring or manipulative, even if that’s not your intention. Plus, she likely figured out what she would do in this situation long before you came into the picture. She has known her stance on what she wants to do with her body since the first time she had sex, and it’s important to respect that. If she asks for your opinion, give it—but only then. No exceptions.

Be a calm source of support.

Easier said than done, right? Freaking out alongside her or having an emotional outburst will increase her feelings of panic and make her feel like she’s responsible for both her feelings and yours. Be a source of comfort and calm for her. You’re allowed to have feelings, too, but rely on a professional (i.e. a therapist) to help you manage them instead of going to your support network of friends and family. For privacy’s sake, she may not want people who know her to know what’s going on.

Depending on which state she lives in, she may have to jump through hoops to access the healthcare she needs. If she wants to make a doctor’s appointment but doesn’t know where to start or what the laws are in her state, she may feel too overwhelmed to explore her options. Help her look into them. Offer to help with research and securing appointments. Regardless of her decision, she’s going to have to see a doctor—even for the first step of getting tests done if her period doesn’t come.

Recommit to safer sex.

Let’s say this scare eventually passes. You don’t want to be in this situation again, right? The only way to do that is to recommit to consistently using a reliable birth control method. If you’ve slacked off on using condoms, now’s the time to get a Costco membership and stock up. They’re available without a prescription and they’re just as effective as birth control when used properly. Remember: You can cause pregnancy 30 days a month, but she can only get pregnant on three or four days.

If she wants to track her cycle or take the pill or get an IUD, that’s her decision alone. Don’t pressure her because, remember, not all people’s bodies can handle the harsh side effects of birth control’s synthetic hormones or a copper wishbone shoved inside their pussy. If she does make an appointment to look into options, ask if she’d like you to come with her for moral support.