Your bag is empty.
This year has been chaotic, but it was also a very peaceful one for me. At the beginning of the year, I was putting so much pressure on myself to get things done and run this race. But once Covid hit, my perspective shifted and that all went away. I was able to give myself a break and finally allow myself some grace.
Quarantine forced me to step back to re-examine who I am, not who I’m supposed to be. What do I actually love? What are my passions? I can model all day, upside down, underwater, holding my breath, but does that still challenge me?
So, the major lesson I learned this year was the necessity of reinvention. Because it takes so much courage to go against something you’ve been doing for the past 13 years.
Giving myself the freedom to change is a form of self-preservation. These past three years have been the hardest I’ve experienced—emotionally, financially, career-wise. A lot of past traumas came up, and I had to heal from them before I moved into this next chapter of my life. Self-care has grounded me throughout this process; I believe you don’t have to look like what you’ve been through. In that sense, beauty has always been important to me.
My mom had a difficult life raising eight kids, but she always remained so beautiful and fashionable. She told me when I was young, “As long as you can look beautiful, then you’ll feel beautiful.” That stayed with me throughout my life. Taking pleasure in your beauty is resistance for Black women since society so often tells us to do the opposite.
Self-care can look different to everyone. It can be putting pride into your appearance, it could be going off to smoke weed for a bit or just remembering to drink water. The point is we take ourselves for granted. We don’t pay attention to ourselves. And that needs to end.
That’s the message I want to send in this Playboy spread. Yes, the images are sexy, but they’re also powerful. Women aren’t just objects for men to lust after; there’s power in our bodies. That’s what stood out to me about these photos. There isn’t a male gaze. You just see a woman in full ownership of herself.
I wanted to show a different side of nudity. Most people associate nudity with vulnerability, but I see such strength in the nude form. I imagine women will look at these images and then hopefully look at themselves and realize as long as you’re radiating your own light, you’re beautiful.
I had this rare opportunity to be an example of another type of beauty in a space that often only sees one kind of beauty and one kind of woman. My mission was to infiltrate that space with my dark skin, with my body type, with my intelligence, with everything I have to offer. And this was before Black Girl Magic even became a widespread cultural movement.
Black women have always been magical beings to me. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by what a blessing it is to be a Black woman. I’m thankful that I got to live this life as one because I don’t want to be anything else. There’s just so much I love about my blackness, and that emanated from this photo shoot. We have carried a lot and our crowns are heavy, but we are the queens of this world.
