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The Girlwatcher Questionnaire: Darenzia

NAME: Darenzia
BIRTHPLACE: Allentown, Pennsylvania
CURRENT LOCATION: New York City!
BIRTHDAY: June 26
HEIGHT: 5'6"
MEASUREMENTS: 32D-22-34
ETHNICITY: Russian and Polish
EYE COLOR: Hazel
HAIR COLOR: Auburn
SKIN TONE: Very, very pale, but I tan easily. I just don't like the sun!
BLOOD TYPE: AB-negative
LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED: Depends on how much I like ya!
NICKNAME: D-Rock, Melons
ATHLETIC ABILITY: I'm an extremely flexible ex-ballerina—I'll either kick your ass or out-run you!
HIGH SCHOOL EXTRACURRICULARS: I went to ballet school daily after classes, so I wasn't really involved in high school activities, although I was one of those weird stage crew/drama kids for a bit.
CLAIM TO FAME: I've parlayed my blue-mohawked, pierced face modeling beginnings into a viable mainstream-ish career? Wait, am I famous? Does this mean I start receiving royalties? I never got the memo, dammit!
WHERE YOU'VE SEEN ME: Cover of Marquis magazine, Skin Two, Penthouse, Playboy TV, all over the Internet, tons of magazines, performing at fetish events the world over. I actually have no idea what I've done. I sorta just stumble into things.
UPCOMING PROJECTS: I'll be the face of Vex Latex's new clothing line Vex Clothing, I'm one of the spokesmodels for House of Bias Latex, and I've got a few things brewing I can't talk about yet!
DAY JOB: Model and performer
DREAM JOB: Apart from what I'm doing now? Stand up comedy!
WORST JOB EVER HELD: I tried being a waitress for about a day—many, many years ago—and decided that serving others didn't really fit my personality type.
EDUCATION/PROFESSIONAL TRAINING: I have a degree in English Literature that I am obviously using to its fullest potential.
HOBBIES: Cat wrangling, getting my ass handed to me by my trainer, working on my "novel," collecting sex slaves
USEFUL SKILLS: I am extremely good at negotiating—I can talk my way into or out of anything! I'm witty! I look decent nude!
USELESS SKILLS: I am a font of useless esoteric trivia, and I can wiggle my pinkie toes without moving any of my other digits (really, you try it).
AREA OF EXPERTISE: Getting in and out of latex clothing with amazing dexterity, destroying BlackBerrys
I AM THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT: Procrastinating, which ties into the fact that I do my best work while under extreme amounts of pressure.
OBSESSIONS: Latex, corsetry, designer stilettos, sex, perfection
STRENGTHS: I'm hard-working, loyal and adept at accomplishing whatever I put my mind to.
WEAKNESSES: I'm stubborn. I sometimes lack patience. I take on too many tasks at once.
TRAGIC FLAW: I can be too trusting sometimes, which can lead to me getting really hurt.
I AM THE IDEAL WOMAN BECAUSE: I'm really good at reading people's minds and tapping into their desires.
I AM NOT THE IDEAL WOMAN BECAUSE: Sometimes I expect people to be able to read my mind, and I get frustrated when they can't.
WHY NYC GIRLS RULE: New York girls tell it like it is. We're not mean, we're just bullshit-free.
ADVICE FOR DEALING WITH AN NYC GIRL: Be yourself, be honest and don't take yourself too seriously—New York girls like some substance with their style.
I CAN COOK: Yes, I can. But I don't want to!
FAVORITE COCKTAIL: I don't really have a favorite.
FAVORITE FOOD: Whatever I'm eating at that very moment. I love all kinds of food!
FAVORITE JUNK FOOD: Dark chocolate
FOOD YOU WON'T EAT: Raisins, "organ" meats
FAVORITE WEBSITE: Darenzia.net!
FAVORITE VIDEO CLIP: Any Family Guy clip. Seth MacFarlane is like my hero!
BEST VIDEO CLIP OF ME: I never watch my videos! I'm really weird like that! But I know there is a behind-the-scenes video from my shoot for the new Vex line posted on YouTube:



IDOL: Photographer Christine Kessler. She's been a great friend and her photography and support of my work I credit for a lot of my success. She's always inspirational.
IDEAL OF FEMININE BEAUTY: It's so hard to come up with one but I've always thought that Helena Christensen is breathtaking. All I have to say is Chris Issak's "Wicked Game" video. Booyah. Classic Beauty. Stunning eyes.
SEXIEST NUDE MODEL: Emily Marilyn, Angela Ryan and Mosh—all unique hardworking models, each with her own distinct style. Each uses her beauty and creativity to continually produce gorgeous work. And they're genuinely nice women, not to mention hot!
MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THE WORLD: Whoever owns my heart
EMBARASSING SONG I KNOW BY HEART: Funny, at first I thought you wanted an embarrassing song I know by the band Heart. So my answer would have been "These Dreams." I now realize that's not the question you were asking, but I see no reason to change my answer.
I WOULD BE A GROUPIE FOR: I'm gonna go ahead and plead the fifth on this one...
THE WEIRDEST OR MOST UNUSUAL PHOTO SHOOT I'VE EVER DONE: That's quite a difficult question to answer because there have been SO many, what seems usual to me would probably seem unusual to most people, and vice/versa. I actually think the oddest shoot I've done was for a book on threesomes that I was the female figure model for. I usually don't pose with men (and certainly not nude men), and there I was, completely nude with two equally nude male underwear models who were very fixated on not looking at each other at all. Even though we were all naked, the shots were only implied nudity—it was literally eight hours of me sandwiched between two dudes with their wieners in baggies, who were too scared to look at each other so instead they both fixated on me. Totally un-erotic but the shots were actually really gorgeous and tasteful. Plus you really haven't lived or laughed until you've seen a real life Zoolander with his wiener in a baggie.
FAVORITE UNDERWEAR: I'm really a fan of lounging around in cotton boy shorts and a bra.
SEXIEST UNDERWEAR: Anything in my Agent Provocateur collection
WHAT I LIKE IN A BRA: Maximum cleavage, with nipples just peeking out of the top
PREFERRED PANTIES: Thong for going out, boy shorts for relaxing at home

WHAT I WEAR TO BED: Nothing, or boyshorts and a cute bra or tank
FIRST THING I DO WHEN I WAKE UP: Hit snooze!
MY BEST FEATURE: My legs
WHAT MEN LOVE ABOUT ME: That I can be super glamorous in appearance, but in actuality I'm super laid-back. I also have lots of hot girlfriends around who also lack the modesty gene.
I AM IRRESISTIBLE WHEN: It's that one time when I'm not in the mood!
IF I WERE A BOND GIRL, MY NAME WOULD BE: Pussy Galore—I think just because I love the way Sean Connery says it.
SLUTTIEST ITEM OF CLOTHING I OWN: I have a pair of panties which really is just a bow above my pubes with dangling beads. They're architecturally exquisite and quite lovely but honestly they're really just a frame for my girl parts and provide zero coverage.
FAVORITE SWIMSUIT: A cute little pink polka-dot number!
EVER BEEN TO A NUDE BEACH?: No, oddly enough. But I have been nude on a beach.
EVERYDAY ACTIVITY I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO NAKED: Answer e-mail, juggle
DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH PORN?: I do occasionally, but if I'm feeling an urge, I'd rather be a participant. Also, since I have a lot of friends in the adult industry I can't seem to find porn that's to my tastes that doesn't involve someone I know in real life. There's nothing like firing up the ol' laptop, getting in the mood, then realizing that you've actually slept on the couch that's being defiled by the couple on your screen.
GROOMING DOWN THERE: I used to do the full shave, but I've been experimenting with the "triangle."
PLACE I LIKE TO BE TOUCHED: Everywhere, but the simplest way to make me purr is soft kisses down the back of my neck.
WHEN I ORGASM I: Moan super loudly while wind blows through my perfectly tousled hair—no, actually I get super-silent. Maybe I'll let out a soft moan, and my body tenses, and I probably look quite the mess.
MOST ORGASMS IN ONE NIGHT: Math should never enter the bedroom! Counting is too distracting!
MY BEST MOVE IN BED: Not saying—I need to keep some mystery about me.
MY PHILOSOPHY OF SEX: It should always be fun! Never fake an orgasm!
MY PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE: You can't search for it and it almost always comes unexpected. I don't fall in love easily but when I do, sanity be damned—it's all about the journey and not necessarily the destination. Obsessing over the future spoils the joy of each moment.
MY PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE: Death or glory!
I SHOULD BE ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY BECAUSE: I think I'm a good combination of sexy, funny and smart, and I'm also just a little bit scary—but it's the compelling type of scary, called "mysterious," that just might intrigue the Playboy reader. Either that, or he'll run away screaming!

Get more Darenzia, if you dare, at her official sites Darenzia.net, MyFetishLife.net, and MySpace.com/Darenzia. Keep track of her daily misadventures and brain droppings at Twitter.com/Darenzia. Large photo on this page by Stephen McClure; other photos by Holly Randall.

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