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Screwed
  • October 17, 2012 : 23:10
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THE DEATH OF CASUAL SEX

Many people presume that Romney, epic flip-flopper that he is, didn’t mean anything he said during the GOP primary to swat down the wild-eyed fanatics like Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry and Rick Santorum. They’re trusting that the candidate who once swore to Massachusetts voters that he was pro-choice and pro–gay rights is the real McCoy.

That’s a comforting fairy tale but a dangerous one.

The evidence from Romney’s years as governor—a subject he religiously avoids talking about—shows him to be anything but moderate. Governor Romney reneged on just about every campaign promise he had made to women and gays about sexual rights, personal freedom and privacy. Romney wouldn’t even protect a rape victim from having to bear the child of her rapist; he vetoed a bill requiring hospitals to give emergency contraception to rape victims.

Romney may not present himself as a religious zealot, but the passion-challenged multimillionaire from Bain Capital has sealed himself for eternity to the GOP’s sex police. So what could America look like after a few years of a Romney presidency?

To get a preview of what might be in store for you, sexually speaking, take a tour of today’s Republican-ruled lands. Start in our nation’s capital, where the House spent one out of every seven days focused on America’s lady parts, where Senator Rand Paul tried to attach a “life begins at conception” rider to the National Flood Insurance Program while Florida was bailing out from Tropical Storm Debby. Head north to Wisconsin, home of Paul Ryan, where recall survivor Governor Scott Walker and the GOP legislature defunded Planned Parenthood, ended the state family-planning program and, for good measure, repealed the state’s equal-pay-for-women law. Travel through the heartland and over the Rockies into Salt Lake City, where in the shadow of the Mormon Tabernacle a Utah lawmaker defended censorship because saying the word condom to students was like encouraging them to “mainline” heroin. End your journey in Texas, where the Republican Party officially declared the separation of church and state to be a “myth” and called for outlawing no-fault divorce.

Flash forward a few years. The Romney-Roberts Supreme Court has overturned Roe and Griswold. Abortion is illegal in most of the country and the morning-after pill is no longer an approved FDA drug. When the Defense of Marriage Act came before the Court in 2014, Justice Scalia used the occasion to restore the government’s power to outlaw sex acts deemed immoral by overturning Lawrence and Garner v. Texas, the landmark 2003 decision that tossed out antisodomy laws. The Affordable Care Act has been repealed by the Republican Congress on the rationale that Obamacare’s mandate to buy insurance was a tyrannical intrusion on American liberty. Meanwhile, a national law requiring women seeking abortions to undergo compulsory transvaginal ultrasounds has gone into effect. The records of their abortions, their sexual partners and the names of their doctors are being stored in a national database.

With the constitutional rights to privacy and abortion wiped out, absolutely nothing stands in the way of the antisex crusaders. Birth control has become less like Viagra and more like medical marijuana: expensive and a bit complicated to procure. Few health insurers cover contraception, tube tying or vasectomies anymore; the government paperwork and personhood protests in front of their corporate offices make it too politically costly to attempt. Condoms have disappeared from store shelves in states where laws prohibiting sex outside of marriage have been enacted.

Perhaps President Romney has delivered on an under-the-radar pledge to the Republican base that he made on his first trip down the presidential campaign trail. “We all gotta clean up the water that our kids are swimming in,” Romney told a conclave of so-called values voters. “By that I mean the pornography, the drug culture, the violence, the sex, the perversion that bombards them day in and day out. I want to make sure that every new computer sold in this country after I’m president has installed on it a filter to block all pornography and that parents can flick that filter to make sure kids don’t see that kind of stuff coming in on their computer.” To prove his zeal, he said he wanted “to enforce our obscenity laws.” The Republican Party granted Romney’s wish, stating in its 2012 national platform, “Current laws on all forms of pornography and obscenity need to be vigorously enforced.”

Now it’s 2016. As Americans ready themselves for another presidential election and watch the Rio Olympics, most of the old porn-friendly computers have been sent off to the scrap heap of history. In half the nation abortion is illegal and birth control is rare. The average age of marriage has plummeted to 20. The notion of casual sex is a fantasy, the sexual revolution history. The sexual counterrevolutionaries have won.

Welcome to the future of your sex life. Welcome back to 1950.

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read more: News, Sex and Dating, politics, sex, issue november 2012

22 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Well thankfully Obama has won! I don't agree with all of his political views and policies, but as a woman living in the modern-day world, I simply could not bring myself to vote Republican at all this year. Great article Playboy! Love from a loyal reader, albeit one who really is here primarily for the articles ;)
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Great read and I love the honest, bare-bones spin. I was happy to post it on my social media page!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    An incredible piece - insightful, brave, and spot on. Everyone, regardless of their political party, needs to read it.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    The reason why we cant spell is because we went to a public school not some rich fancy school with butlers like tou democrats.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Hey Anonymous, I think you need to post your idiotic tirade a few more times before you and Romney are never heard from again.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    By the time this letter is bypassed for publication, hopefully Romney will have won the presidency, despite Nancy L. Cohen’s warnings and jeremiads to the contrary. But if Obama does hocus-pocus a second term, you’ll have four years to ask him about the following. A $529 million loan to Fisker Automotive, to produce a $100,000 electric car that many Americans can’t afford, said car built in Finland (car recalled for the second time); 123 Systems (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt); Abound Solar (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), Solyndra (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), Beacon Power (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), Ener1 (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), SpectraWatt (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), cozying up to the lawbreakers of OWS, the much-vaunted stimulus package that was supposed to keep unemployment from rising above 8-percent—but didn’t, Obamacare and CLASS, the screwing of the Chrysler bondholders, “shovel-ready” jobs that weren’t as shovel-ready as he hoped they’d be (he said with a laugh), positioning the NLRB so that union workers could screw Boeing—and then stacking the NLRB all over again, failure to throw the book at the New Black Panther Party for Election Day misconduct, Operation Fast and Furious, the idiocy of attempting to try Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in federal court, nonsensical promises about Guantanamo, the infamous Apologizing for America tours, lies and deception concerning the attack on the consulate in Benghazi and the murder of four Americans …and on and on and on. Put your time to good use, Playboy.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    amazing article! all the comments bashing this have nothing of substance to say because they are full of bs themselves. If you think the article isn't true actually have evidence to back it up. No surprise they don't because you can't refute the truth. I'm forwarding this too many people!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    If this nightmare scenario happens I'm moving to Canada or some place in Europe
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Moronic. There are zero plans to outlaw contraception, and it's ridiculous that people talk themselves into it. It's hysterical gibberish. The person writing this should be ashamed, either of their cynical political manipulation, or else because of their sheer ignorance.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Well written, this is a "favorite" nightmare of mine, that I am afraid might come true in my lifetime. "A Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood first put the fear into words for me - but this article nails it. MYOB GOP.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    "Menchin sex?" You didn't *mention* that you were a Tea Party supporter but your spelling gives it away.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Why can't Tea Party members spell correctly?
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    This is crap nothing in the constitution does it menchin sex or thing relating to it. Obama care you like that garbage it gives free birth control ya! Vut was it realy that expensive before? Republicans wont get rid of casual sex thats not legal but obama realy has not done anything to protect it. Romney has not gone on a war aginst a womans rights but if he had thats what the supreme court is for.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Good article. As always, playboy has great articles (and great photos too of course.)
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Wow! I haven't been paying much attention to politics lately. In the last week or two, however, I've been opening my eyes to a nightmarish reality that many freedoms that so many people have worked very hard for will be in serious danger if the GOP takes the white house. I find it unbelievably disheartening that things like making possession of birth control a Felony would have any support whatsoever. I would seriously consider leaving the country and making some place in Europe my home if predictions like the ones made in this article come to fruition...
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Romney has waged a war on women by refusing to condemn it when it started in earnest in late January 2011. No longer can you claim to be neutral. Refusing to condemn the GOP's war on women means YOU SUPPORT IT. Period. Full stop. And yes, Playboy - not a first stop source for most of the people pushing back against the GOP's war on women, has a more accurate portrayal of what will happen under GOP rule in this one three page article than most of the other media has had in this ENTIRE campaign. And Obamacare does NOT give women free birth control UNLESS they are making less than a certain amount. But, the GOP is NOT ONLY trying to undo a law that finally gives women good health care, they are also trying to make it a FELONY to even possess birth control. The Blunt Amendment makes possessing birth control a FELONY punishable by up to 10 years in prison with no chance of parole. Oh and Romney has promised to go after women's rights. How would he do this? You guessed it: implement a Christian form of sharia law in America by installing three radical judges who favor religious law over the Constitution.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    By the time this letter is bypassed for publication, hopefully Romney will have won the presidency, despite Nancy L. Cohen’s warnings and jeremiads to the contrary. But if Obama does hocus-pocus his way into a second term, you’ll have four years to ask him about the following. A $529 million loan to Fisker Automotive, to produce a $100,000 electric car that many Americans can’t afford, said car built in Finland (car recalled for the second time); 123 Systems (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt); Abound Solar (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), Solyndra (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), Beacon Power (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), Ener1 (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), SpectraWatt (got Energy Department money; went bankrupt), cozying up to the lawbreakers of OWS, the much-vaunted stimulus package that was supposed to keep unemployment from rising above 8-percent—but didn’t, Obamacare and CLASS, the screwing of the Chrysler bondholders, “shovel-ready” jobs that weren’t as shovel-ready as he hoped they’d be (he said with a laugh), positioning the NLRB so that union workers could screw Boeing—and then stacking the NLRB all over again, failure to throw the book at the New Black Panther Party for Election Day misconduct, Operation Fast and Furious, the idiocy of attempting to try Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in federal court, nonsensical promises about Guantanamo, the infamous Apologizing for America tours, lies and deception concerning the attack on the consulate in Benghazi and the murder of four Americans …and on and on and on. Put your time to good use, Playboy.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    You people are idiots!!!!! You can't see the dumb ass stealing from someone and giving to another is going to destroy this country. The lazy will get lazier and the small business owner that is so called rich will go under or pack up and leave. Hope you're happy stupid
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Utter propaganda Playboy! Did you know Adolph Coors, creator of Coors beer, was a Mormon? Coors has alcohol. I hope free porn on the net puts you out of business. GFY!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Privacy and autonomy are definitely embeded within the Bill of Rights. Those who ignore and discount the goals of the wingnuts are naive. You missed the point about the SCOTUS and Griswold. If you count on a corporate to prtect your individual civil liberties you are clueless.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Wow, fascinating article. Makes me very glad for the separation of church and state that's well-defined here in Canada, and the extremely liberal politics in comparison to the US. Fingers crossed for Obama, because Romney's religious mania is just plain scary.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    There is evidence that supports the person who is against it. The first off does not protect the rights to have sex read the constitution second listen to every thing romney has ever said not once has he declared war on womens rights. Theres also obamacare whitch if i am not mistaken i have to pay for. Why should i have to pay for some other person to get free birthcontrol its just not fare. That person who attacked the romney supporter for misspelling well you no what you obama supporting communist its time for you to keep the change and i will keep my guns women and my money!
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