The Safety Fetishists

June, 1976

Safety is dangerous.I discovered this alarming new hazard when I took delivery of my new Chevrolet Chevelle Malibu Classic Colonnade sedan and casually asked the salesman to have the retracting shoulder belts replaced with fixed shoulder belts like I had on my 1973 Camaro, of blessed memory. He gulped. He shrank. He blanched. "We're not allowed to touch the restraints," he whispered, breaking out in a sweat. "Don't even ask me!"The newfangled shoulder belts are equipped with...