A Man's Gotta Chew...

September, 1977

I Chew Tobacco. Wait--don't barf all over the page--it could be worse. Before that. I used Saran Wrap for a contraceptive--on my tongue. See, pipe smoke left it raw as steak tartare. So, what I'd do, I'd galosh the tip of my tongue in a little handmade Baggie. That worked well enough, but my conversation went to heck. The damn membrane would vibrate--brrrp. Only German words came out half-normal, and I don't speak German half at all.To write, I need a nicotine blast; it hikes my pulse up around...