Playboy's Christmas Cards
December, 1984
To Jerry MathersOur blessings on thee, Beaver boy;Your comeback's not a sham.Though Ward, poor Dad, has bit the dustAnd Lumpy died in 'Nam,You stumble on; you're still the BeavWe cleave to--yes, indeed!You've grown up, just like all your fans...And gone a bit to seed.To a trivial pursuit champAll hail to three! your victoryHas left us quite impressed.you knew when Spain had sunk the Maine;You've passed each acid test:Hank Aaron's marks, our national parks,The tallest king of Greece,The date Rome...
