Everything But The Kitchen Sink

March, 1986

Another pro football season is finally over, but the future of the sport hunkers before me in the form of a Chicago Bear named William "The Refrigerator" Perry, ex-Clemson, magna cum lunch meat. By next season, I fear, every team in the N.F.L. will have a "conversation topic" on its roster. Advertisers will go mad with excitement; talk-show bookers will burn up the telephone wires; fans will replace the propellers on their hard hats with, oh, I don't know, Bob Costas dolls, m...