I Signed Nolan Ryan For Eight Dollars

May, 1988

Dale Murphy is mine. This may be news to Nancy Murphy, the slugger's wife, but she doesn't love him like I do. Does she kiss his replays? When the Atlanta Braves' cleanup hitter muscles a moon shot, I pound my chest, do a little Murphmaster non compos mentis boogaloo and perform frottage on the TV.I am a Rotisserie fool.There are 250,000 of us now. You can spot us lurking at newsstands at dawn, ripping the box scores out of the first edition and throwing the rest of the paper away; cheering both...