Celebrity Christmas Cards

December, 1990

A Long-haired vagrant and his "virgin" wifeOpenly displaying their newborn babyTo strangers in return for giftsAnd sleeping in a stable with barnyard animals?Sounds perverted to me.But the Lord was involved,So I guess we've got to go along with it.—Senator Jesse HelmsOn the advice of my attorneys,I will not be issuing any greetingsOr other commentsRegarding theseOr any other holidays that involveThe exchange of gifts or remunerations.—Charles H. Keating, Jr.All I want for Christmas is...

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