Phil Hartman's Guide To The Holiday Office Party
December, 1998
the arrivalBe fashionably late. Arrive half an hour to one hour after the designated start time. You don't want to appear to be one of those needy nerdlets who are too grateful for an invitation. Because the host is usually your boss, make a perfunctory greeting. This will be followed up later, when you're more inebriated, with fawning, butt-nuzzling comments. The main thing now is to name your poison. The party doesn't really start until everybody is in an altered state. Since this is the offic...
