Celebrity Christmas Carols

December, 2001

Angelina Jolie(To the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen")God spare me sweet and gentle men;They make such lousy lays.I crave those weird, near-mental menWho don't run down for days.That's why I married Billy Bob:He fucks till my eyes glaze.Call me wanton, but that's why I enjoyWhat I enjoy,And when he puts on that SantaSuit, oh boy.America's anti-sweetheart, IAm lewd, tattooed and crude.That's why they made me Lara Croft:We both reek attitude.And "Tomb" grossed big, so th...