Kayslee Collins Goes Her Own Way as Musical Act Don

“I have always had faith that I’m a strong female,” says Playmate and indie-pop songstress Kayslee Collins, who records and performs under her middle name, Don. “Even if it gets wild and chaotic and pain comes my way, I know I’ll overcome it.” Her latest single, created in less-than-ideal conditions, drops today; entitled “Helpless,” it proves she is anything but.

The musician cum model has spent much of her 29 years conquering seemingly paradoxical pursuits. The result, I learn during our bicoastally distanced video chat, is an unwavering trust in herself.

She was told that posing nude would get in the way of her indie music career; she posed for PLAYBOY anyway. Her agency insisted her long, blonde hair was crucial to booking more work; she scheduled a haircut. And when she split with her boyfriend, who also happened to be her producer and co-writer, she continued working with him, letting the discomfort manifest into poignant music. But more on that later.

When I call Collins, it’s about a week before the election and we’re both commiserating over our anxieties. For her part, she’s beaming, blonde and bright-eyed in a naturally lit living room somewhere in Los Angeles, matching her thoughtfulness with earnest West Coast energy and a bell-like voice that dilutes the heaviness of our conversation.

This year she’s been using her social platform to highlight issues surrounding the election and the Black Lives Matter movement. “If you don’t like that, then don’t follow me,” she suggests in regards to negative reactions from family and friends. “I’m going to stand for what I want, what I believe in.”

But Collins has never had an issue with going against the grain.

Although she grew up in a conservative household, Collins never hesitated to embrace her sexuality. As she shared in the story for her February 2015 Playmate pictorial, “From my music to these pictures, everything I do has a sexual edge. It’s a huge part of me.”

Marilyn Monroe—cover model for the first issue of PLAYBOY and the magazine’s one and only Sweetheart of the Month (the earliest iteration of Playmate)—was an early idol of Collins’s. “I was raised Mormon, and being a five-year-old Mormon child obsessed with Marilyn Monroe was a very interesting thing,” Collins says. “You can kind of get a dynamic of who I was.”

Back when Collins decided to join Monroe among the Playmate ranks in 2014, the company was undergoing a changing of the guard, hiring younger staff and, in Collins’s view, ushering in a new era she wanted to belong to.

“There were all these freaking amazing photos and beautiful women that were just strong and powerful. And I was like, ‘You know what, I’m ready for a change. And I think that I can be part of their change with them.’”

She looks back fondly on her luxury-themed Playmate shoot, for which she channeled not only Monroe but also Playmate Anna Nicole Smith. “It was liberating. I wasn’t nervous,” Collins says. “I trusted myself in the work that I had already done and where I was in my modeling career to make it beautiful, and it felt amazing.”

“I made this movement in my career for myself, first of all,” Collins says about defying her agency and advisors and deciding to cut her hair and pose for PLAYBOY. “I pretty much went like this”—Collins throws two middle fingers in the air. “It’s so much of my story. It’s like, ‘Playmate goes indie.’ I think that’s fucking dope.”

The shoot sparked a realization for Collins: She could follow her intuition to successfully shape the career she wanted, instead of the career others thought she should have. She hopes other models saw her pictorial and were encouraged to follow suit.

Collins’s defiant streak has also made its way into her songwriting process, as evident in her latest track, “Helpless.”

“My boyfriend and I are writing partners, and he produces everything right here in this living room that you’re seeing,” Collins shares. “I wrote ‘Helpless’ last year during a breakup with him. We were still working together, and he was dating someone new.”

Instead of walking away from the music, in part because of what she describes as “this weird artist’s self-sabotage,” she continued the sessions. Eventually the song came together—and the relationship came back together too.

“We’re good. My intuition knew that was going to happen, but instead of giving it space, I was living in it,” she laughs and gestures with her arms. “Soaking it up because I’m absolutely insane, and it inspired music.”

Like her idol Monroe, Collins embraces not only her sex appeal but also the power of it—as evident on her album artwork, visuals and origin story, which all reflect a woman unafraid of her sensuality. Despite that boldness, Collins can also evoke vulnerability.

Over even guitars and backing vocals, “Helpless” begins with Collins admitting to feeling foolish, even resigned to the idea that she might “want to be stuck.” The track embodies a yearning self-awareness, and with its 1970s sonics and lovelorn lyrics it feels like a near-homage to a mid-fight (or mid-tryst) Fleetwood Mac.

“Most of the songs that I’ve written, I freestyle. That moment was honest. I just started singing,” she says. “I really feel like when I do it that way, it comes from the heart. It’s just that initial feeling. Sometimes I’ll go back and tweak the lyrics, but for this one I didn’t.”

Collins says she wants to make music people can connect with. “I related to music as a kid, and growing up in my teens and in my 20s. When it hit my heart and I was like, ‘She gets it, he gets it, I’m feeling the same thing’—I want people to be able to find that in my music.”

With an uncertain year behind her and a keen focus on the future, Collins is confident she can create or navigate whatever unfolds next.

“What makes the art beautiful is when it’s your own decision. If I add too many cooks in the kitchen when it comes to my career, it just doesn’t work,” Collins says. “I have to go with my gut. I think you should always be thinking ahead, always recreating yourself. As you evolve as a human, your career should evolve with you—and you should make those decisions for yourself.”

We’re eager to see where confidence and creativity will take the “indie Playmate” next.

Styling by Shayna Fredrick; hair and makeup by Sydney Costley.