As a divorce attorney, I have essentially made a career out of shorting romantic love. When the pandemic hit, I told every colleague who would listen how much business we were about to get. Unfortunately for love, I was right. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, constant togetherness does the opposite. Much like Marie Kondo, the messes of others pay my salary, and this divorce boom has given me more material than ever to dissect all the different ways a relationship can go belly-up.

The pandemic has not only exacerbated existing problems, but also introduced completely new ones. The usual suspects behind relationship trouble (think sex and household chores) loom even larger when you’re together 24/7, while entirely new issues—like overhearing your partner’s weird fake phone voice all day—are now added to the mix. As Covid cases surge worldwide, it looks like the situation isn’t changing anytime soon. So in the name of love, I’m here to share my wisdom. Standard relationship advice aside (don’t take each other for granted, and just split the damn household chores 50-50, for the love of God), below are my top tips for surviving pandemic cuffing season with your quarantine qutie.

Be Mindful About Sex

I can’t tell you how many marriages I’ve seen implode due to one person’s refusal to accept even slight libidinal differences in their partner. If I had a dollar for every shitty guy who’s told his wife some version of, “Sex X times per week is the only way to prove you love me,” and basically sexually bullied her into leaving him, I’d be halfway to a Peloton.

The thing is, it’s unlikely that both (or all) members of a relationship will have the exact same sex drive. Stress can affect libido, and this moment in history is nothing if not stressful. Some people when stressed want nothing more than to get sweaty and forgetty; for others, that’s the last thing they feel like doing. Scientific American recently reported that eating disorders, which have been shown to lower sex drives and generally increase anxiety around sex, have flourished during quarantine. Rates of depression and other mental health struggles are up too, according to the CDC.

So if your partner is feeling less interested in sex right now, don’t take it personally or, God forbid, act resentful or unkind about it. Instead, focus on how this moment presents a great opportunity to create closeness in other ways. Which leads me to the next tip….

Explore New Types of Intimacy

Possibly the most common question I hear about pandemic relationships is some variation on, “How do we keep it fresh?” The people who asked were probably looking for an answer like, “Try anal!” But if the solution were as simple as a new position or toy, I’m guessing my friends would have already figured it out. Instead, I recommend experiencing your partner in new ways by breaking down usual routines and barriers.

We’re used to compartmentalizing our different identities—friend, partner, employee, etc. In normal times, we have some buffer space to mitigate the whiplash of juggling these identities; a date night, for example, can help ease the transition from roommate to lover. But a major divorce trend I’ve noticed is that when one compartment “wins”—for example, if both partners focus only on parenting and neglect the lover part, or both are workaholics that bone regularly but neglect the friend part—the end is near.

To salvage the relationship, break down those compartments. Having trouble going from Zoom-work mode to sexy mode? Try hanging out in skivvies and just talk or cuddle, without bumping uglies. (This is also a great way to cultivate sex positivity when stress is making you feel anything but.) If you don’t normally hang out in the morning, try heading out for an A.M. walk with your partner. If you’re on that millennial wine train every night, try spending a sober week together.

Remember, time spent together isn’t necessarily quality time, no matter how close your WFH stations are. Make time specifically to do new things with your partner. Breaking down our usual barriers can be hard, but remember, lockdown has obliterated many of those already: The relationship must evolve or die.

Do Take Distance; Don’t Take It Personally

Many couples are used to being emotionally together whenever they’re physically together. But now that many of us are spending pretty much all our time with our significant others, it can feel like emotional overload. Creating room for emotional distance can be awkward, but it’s key. Here’s how to design a new routine with some built-in distance.

Start by paying attention to your partner’s cues. If they say they are in the mood for a solo video game or to watch a dumb show they know you don’t like, tell them to go for it. Cultivate solo things you enjoy (such as your own embarrassing show preference) to occupy yourself during that time. You could each set individual personal goals, like learning an instrument or finally reading that Hamilton book everyone pretends to want to read, then support each other in reaching them—but pursue them separately. You’ll share the experience of working toward something, but get your alone time too.

Overall, work on being okay with being together but not together. Assert your need for space—even if your partner might get offended. A little initial discomfort while setting a new routine will pay off to avoid major resentment down the line. And if you can, invest in noise-canceling headphones. (Trust me, just do it.)

Don’t Rush Big Decisions Because You’re Bored

I cannot emphasize this enough: Do not get married or have kids just because you feel like there’s nothing else left to do or it’s the logical next step. I’ve heard many divorcing couples admit these motivations, and I fully expect big business in a few years from all the pandemic pregnancies and engagements littering my timeline.

If you find yourself on the cusp of a big decision that wasn’t on your radar pre-pandemic, hold off. Don’t have the baby. Don’t get the puppy. Don’t buy the ring. This also applies to the decision to enter or stay in a relationship. Repeat after me: Loneliness and horniness alone are not good enough reasons to get cuffed!

So there you have it. I could go on for hours about the common pitfalls to avoid at any stage of a relationship (seriously, give me a cocktail and I’ll do it), but these are my top tips for the long months of lockdown ahead. Please cuff responsibly, and, if you don’t, just remember that the average cost of a divorce in the United States is $10,000. Act accordingly, lovers!