The *Fear of Flying* author says men fear women's sexuality because its true power has never been fully realized
A woman’s right to pleasure has been threatened in nearly every society—even the idea that women need pleasure has been disputed. This is probably because women’s sexuality is so strong as to be threatening. Our myths tell of these fears.
From the Sabine women to Circe, who turned men into swine, women’s sexuality seems overwhelming to men because unlike theirs, it is inexhaustible. Once unleashed, men fear its outcome. Better to suppress it with genital mutilation than take the risk. Women have been defiled and punished because of our sexuality. We have been burned at the stake because of it.
Men despise women’s sexuality because it is so different from their own. So men make rules about it—rules that make no sense to women. But in art the unruliness of women’s sexuality blossoms. Georgia O’Keeffe sees women’s sexuality in plants, in clouds, in all of nature. In fact, our sexuality gives birth to nature. Art, in all its forms, allows for the freedom of expressing pleasure in ways that everyday life does not.
When I wrote Fear of Flying, I thought my descriptions of women would be seen as merely realistic. When the book appeared, I was amazed to discover that people were shocked. Is it better now? It’s hard to answer this question. Women’s freedom seems to ebb and flow. Men still want to police women’s bodies. This takes the form of banning abortion, taking away women’s healthcare, treating women like alien creatures. Until women make our own rules about our bodies, we will never be free.
In my writing, I have tried to make it possible for women to describe our desire accurately. If we could truly depict women’s desire, we might come to understand how it secretly rules the world. In my novel Sappho’s Leap, I rewrite the story of Sappho, who was famously bisexual. My Sappho is free to reinvent herself with every lover.
I’ve always tried to create the books about women that did not yet exist. In Fanny Hackabout-Jones, I invented a picaresque for women. My Fanny is beloved by two men—one white, one Black, one gay, one straight and it is not she who has the problem, but they. I’ve always been fascinated with women like Anaïs Nin and Leonor Fini, who freed themselves to practice bigamy. Actually, I think women are more comfortable with bigamy than men. Many women artists have tried this out. Men find it appalling, women find it natural.
As we become freer we will discover that women are more open to sexuality than men, though the reverse has often been advertised.
The truth is, we have never had a culture that was completely open to women’s desire. If we had one, what would it be like? I may have to write a utopian fantasy to discover the answer.
Jong’s essay is an exclusive preview from A Woman’s Right to Pleasure, the forthcoming radical new art book by BlackBook, Dr. Amir Marashi and LELO, out August 20. Jong’s essay is accompanied by an original virtual exhibit featuring artworks from Betty Tompkins, Reka Nyari, Luo Yang, Sonia Sieff, Natalie Krim, Renee Cox, and Sophia Narrett. Some of the works pictured in the gallery will be available for sale in the A Woman’s Right to Pleasure exhibition launching with Artsy later this month.