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Dating apps can feel like a hellish wasteland where endless swiping leads to little, and certainly not to love. But Justin Harder doesn’t see it that way. Harder bills himself as an expert in men’s image transformation—i.e. a dating app whiz who can get you actual results. Through his signature process and the power of good photos, Harder says he’s transformed more than 700 dating profiles to make good guys look good, too.
We asked Harder to step in as Playboy Advisor to answer some of your burning dating app questions. Is it all a waste? Certainly not, according to Harder, but only if you put the effort in.
I’ve been on dating apps for years and I’m honestly sick of it. Is it even worth it to keep swiping?
It is 100 percent worth it, but only if you fix what’s broken. The average guy gets one to three matches a week, which can feel debilitating, especially when those matches aren’t with women he’s actually attracted to, or the conversation fizzles out before a date ever gets scheduled. That frustration is real, but the problem isn’t the app. The problem is presentation.
Dating apps are a presentation medium. The men who present themselves best are the ones who get the matches. Looks matter, but they’re just one piece of the puzzle. Style, grooming, backdrops, confidence, the overall vibe you give off, all of these combined are more powerful than looks alone. You can take a man who would never stand out in a crowded room and make him look incredibly compelling on someone’s phone. The app works. Your profile just needs to work harder.
Aside from avoiding holding a fish, I don’t know what women look for in a good dating profile photo. Should I show myself with friends? Alone? Do pictures with my niece make me more approachable? Help!
I’ve built a framework for this that works consistently well across all of our clients, and the core principle is variety. Most guys upload a handful of generic selfies that tell a woman absolutely nothing about who they are. You need to give her a glimpse into your lifestyle through a curated set of photos that each serve a specific purpose.
Start with a strong headshot, waist up, looking directly into the camera. Eye contact creates an immediate first impression and a sense of connection. Second, include a full-body shot from head to toe. She needs to know what you look like, and hiding it only creates suspicion. Third, add a social shot of you in a group setting or at an event, to show that you’re comfortable around people and have a life outside your apartment. Fourth, include an action or physique shot that signals you take your health seriously. Playing tennis, hiking, or anything active works well here. Fifth, add a connection shot, something that shows your human side. A genuine smile with a dog, playing a musical instrument, or a candid moment with friends. This is what makes you relatable. Finally, include at least one high value shot in a clean, elevated environment. A well tailored suit, a nice hotel lobby, or a travel photo in an aesthetic location. Each photo has a job to do. When they work together, they tell a complete story.
In my regular life, I’m not doing flashy things like smoking a cigar on a yacht, but women seem to like guys who do those things. Should my dating profile show me doing things like that even if I can’t match that energy on dates?
No, and I cannot stress this enough. If being on a yacht smoking a cigar is not authentic to your life, do not fake it. Women are perceptive, and when your profile doesn’t match the person who shows up on the date, you lose all credibility immediately. Authenticity is more attractive than a borrowed lifestyle. What you should do instead is use clean, high quality backgrounds that elevate your appearance without misrepresenting who you are. The nicest part of your city, a well designed hotel lounge, a rooftop bar. These environments make you look polished and put together without requiring you to pretend you own a yacht. The background does a lot of the heavy lifting. Use it strategically, not deceptively.
Honestly, I’m not a super-buff guy and I feel like that’s hurting my prospects in online dating. Do I need a full-body makeover, or will women still want me if I’m just working with what I have?
The honest answer is that it depends on where you’re starting from. That said, you do not need a model physique to succeed on dating apps. I’ve worked with plenty of guys who are not in peak physical condition and still get excellent results because they present themselves well in every other way. The trap I see constantly is men who keep delaying their photo shoot because they want to lose another 10 pounds first. They never get there, so they never get on the apps, and they’re not dating at all. Get to a healthy, comfortable weight where you feel good about how you look, and then get to work on your profile.
How can I make my profile stand out from what feels like a million other better, richer, and nicer looking guys? Is there a trick, or am I doomed?
You are not doomed, and the guys you’re comparing yourself to are not necessarily winning either. I work with men who are wealthy, successful, and objectively good-looking who still struggle on dating apps because they have no idea how to present themselves. A great photo of an average guy will outperform a mediocre photo of a handsome one every single time. The strategy that works is volume combined with a trained eye. Take hundreds, ideally thousands, of photos across different settings, outfits, and expressions. The more you shoot, the better your chances of capturing something truly compelling. From there, it comes down to selection. You need someone who understands the female gaze: what women actually respond to, what gives them the ick, and what makes them stop scrolling. That skill set is what separates a profile that gets ignored from one that gets results.
How much does what I write in my profile matter? Aren’t girls just basing this whole thing on looks?
Photos are doing about 90 percent of the work, but your bio is not irrelevant. Think of it as the closer: the photos get her interested, and the bio either confirms or kills that interest. Keep it fun, slightly flirty, and free of anything generic. No “I love to laugh” or “looking for my partner in crime.” Show her that you’re a man with direction, someone who has goals and knows what he wants, but that you’re also relaxed and enjoyable to be around. The tone you want is confident and light, not serious or try-hard. My standing rule for bios is less is more. The less you give away, the more mystery you create, and mystery is attractive. A short, well-written bio that leaves her wanting to know more will always outperform a long one that tells her everything. Let the photos carry the conversation.
What’s one non-negotiable for a successful dating profile?
A strong, full-body lifestyle shot, and I mean non-negotiable in the strictest sense. If you do not have a full body photo in your profile, you will not get the results you’re looking for. Women want to know what you look like from head to toe, and the absence of that photo signals that you’re hiding something. The best version of this shot is you walking through a city or an interesting environment with strong posture and confident body language. It communicates health, confidence, and presence all at once. No other single photo does more work for your profile than this one.
I get the need to look good for my profile, but do I really need to hire a professional photographer? Won’t it look like I’m trying too hard?
A good photographer is not going to show up with one camera and fire off a hundred identical shots in the same location. The best ones, and this is how we approach it at Jharderphoto, use multiple cameras, including an iPhone, across a variety of settings and outfits. The goal is to make it look like the photos were taken organically over time, not in a single staged session. If every photo in your profile has the same DSLR quality and the same lighting, it looks like a photoshoot, and that works against you. Mixing professional images with natural looking iPhone shots creates variety and authenticity. Women respond to profiles that feel real. A skilled photographer knows how to give you that without sacrificing quality.
Is there one red flag on a dating profile that gets guys turned down every time? How do I avoid that?
The dirty bathroom mirror selfie. This will instantly kill any results you could be getting on the apps. A cluttered sink, toothpaste stains on the mirror, products scattered everywhere. It is an immediate red flag. Environments communicate a great deal about who you are as a person, and a messy bathroom tells her that you don’t take care of your space. By extension, it raises questions about how you take care of yourself. The fix is simple: never take a photo in a space you haven’t cleaned and considered. If you’re going to use a mirror selfie at all, make sure the background is spotless. Better yet, skip the bathroom entirely and find a cleaner, more interesting location.