The last several years have been occupied with pressing questions about young men. Are they being gobbled up by the Manosphere? Are they too superficial? Are they too misogynistic? Are they too online?

Each of these questions tied themselves together in the most miserable form this weekend as several of the Internet’s most controversial manosphere figures came together in Miami for an evening of bad dating advice, gender war manufacturing and antisemitism. In videos released over MLK Day weekend, Andrew and Tristan Tate, Nick Fuentes, Clavicular and other Manosphere regulars were seen partying across penthouses, limos and night clubs, talking down to and about women while blasting Kanye West’s “Heil Hitler.” 

The videos—which also included streamer Sneako as well as influencer Justin Waller, among others—are ostensibly supposed to be some kind of brag, a way to show their “elite” Manosphere hangout to the rest of the world and bank on each other’s clout. But really, viewers see these men awkwardly standing around at nightclub Vendôme, preening, competing in some sort of made-up masculinity contest. The result is vile and hateful, a display of antisemitism and misogyny that warranted statements from local officials.

And none of it, of course, looked like any fun. 

There are many upsetting pieces to pick apart in this specific outing, but let’s focus on the women for a minute. Instead of actually partying, these men are pseudo-philosophizing about why women aren’t worth their time. Historically, part of performing heterosexual masculinity has been proximity to women—dating them, sleeping with them, simply having them around. In other words, liking women. But in this layer of the manosphere, other men are apparently the priority. The only reason to have women around is to prove how little you desire them. The goal is not to look good for women, but to look good for each other in some sort of solipsistic power grab with no tangible reward beyond anonymous Internet users telling them they “mogged” the other.  The only individual seen actually interacting with women in this weekend’s videos was Clavicular, a relatively new figure in the Manosphere known for his promotion of looksmaxxing. For this, he was derided by the other men and viewers online. 

“Bro is in a room with Andrew Tate, Nick Fuentes, Tristan Tate, Myron, etc., and is distracted by a random hoe,” one engagement-farming account on X wrote. “This is why controlling lust is important.” Later, at a nightclub, Fuentes — who has insisted he is attracted to women — practically begged Clavicular not to bring women around for him to hang out with. 

Meanwhile, Waller explained to Clavicular why he’d never take a woman out on a dinner date. “A one on one dinner with a woman is a mistake and a waste of fucking time and money,” said Waller. “Three hours of bullshit,” Clavicular responded. 

It seems worth reminding these ostensibly straight men that engaging in heterosexuality is supposed to be a good time for those who align with it. Being in the company of a woman is supposed to be pleasurable, whether that be enjoying a meal and conversation with her or more intimate acts in the bedroom. It is a normal, healthy and all around masculine interest for a young man to be more interested in a hot young woman sitting on his lap than “networking” with men whose only real claim to fame is pushing an online ideological circle jerk. 

Many who have seen these videos have questioned whether these men are all actually just gay and closeted, but I’m unsure it’s quite so simple. They could just as easily craft a masculine persona and also be gay — plenty of men manage to do so without being hateful.  But what this corner of the Manosphere displayed over the weekend has little to do with sex at all. In this world of modeling their anti-woman masculinity for the camera, they’re putting on a show of so-called manliness that is entirely detached from the reality of being a straight guy. They’re so wrapped up in this deluded image of it all that they can’t even enjoy what should be the spoils of being the type of macho guy they claim to be. Nobody involved in this universe is having fun: not the men in the videos, not the women who are somehow willing to be around them, and especially not the young men who idolize them and lurk in Discord servers that encourage them to take on their antagonistic way of thinking. 

And it’s here that the Manosphere is beginning to fall apart. There were already signs that the political sway of the Manosphere was losing its shine, with approval ratings of Trump among young men on a steady decline. Part of why it all looked like such a bad time over the weekend, too, is because there are rifts among the online  figures of the Manosphere itself — Andrew Tate, for example, called Sneako a “cry baby” following the meetup. These guys don’t like women, and they also don’t even really like each other.

This entire spectacle has laid forth a fundamental reality about the Manosphere: that it has never been a brotherhood about “improving” men or masculinity, but a competition with no real reward. Perhaps all this is a reason for some hope. Those who remain obsessed with guys like Tate and Waller may continue on, but eventually even the thin bonds of community they’ve found in admiring them online will dissolve, too.