With the now-ubiquitous New York City Health Department guidelines on sex and coronavirus circulating the interwebs and all talk of orgies and group sex being subsequently taken off the table, what are pleasure-seekers to do with our free time? But really, good on the NYC Health Department for compiling this list of factors to watch out for regarding transmission of the virus. Even the most vanilla of activities such as kissing can be a mode of passing along COVID-19. I’ve seen the memes about the surge of babies that will be born from this pandemic (are we calling them coronials?), but where are the memes about the Popeye arm from all the masturbation? In fact, masturbation was mentioned as the top sex activity one can engage in safely. And before people come at me about masturbation not being “real sex,” you’re wrong. It literally has it in its name: solo sex. And it’s immune-boosting to boot, so win-win. Since we all have the time now, here are some fun ways to get off when you’re in isolation.