At the end of Press Secretary Jen Psaki’s Tuesday afternoon briefing, she was asked about her predecessor, Kayleigh McEnany, who just took a job as a Fox News contributor.

“Like many Americans, we disagree on political issues, but we talked about our families, our spouses, sports, all sorts of things in the green room, and I certainly wish her the best in her future endeavors,” Psaki said.

Some felt it was classy of Psaki to stick to neutral niceties, a move few would have expected from the Trump administration had the roles been reversed. Others thought Psaki’s full response, in which she mentioned knowing McEnany from when they both were occasional CNN contributors, was an example of how Washington, D.C. remains an insider’s ball game.

I am not that cynical.

Of far more importance is how the current administration deals with the press. McEnany and the Trump administration were historically antagonistic and abusive toward reporters. All eyes have been on Biden and Psaki to improve that corroded relationship.

It hasn’t gone as smoothly as one might expect. Last Friday Psaki announced that non-press-pool reporters and organizations who do not have seats in the briefing room will have to clear two hurdles just get onto the White House campus: win an entry lottery (limited to 80 reporters a day) and pay $170 for a rapid Covid test (or supply evidence of a negative Covid test to the administration’s satisfaction).

Members of the press pool (reporters from the richest media companies) will not have to pay for tests—the White House will continue to cover those costs. Because they’re in the press pool, these reporters and the organizations they represent are guaranteed access to the White House, no matter the head-count limit. So ultimately, these restrictions punish independent reporters, foreign bureaus and freelancers, myself included. It is favoritism for the rich.

On Tuesday the president announced, “We’re now on track to have enough vaccine supply for every adult in America by the end of May.” That’s great news for the country, and should be great news for White House reporters too, right? Biden’s statement motivated me to email Psaki some follow-up questions: Will the White House assist non-pool reporters in getting vaccinated? Will the restrictions on White House reporters be lifted by the end of May? Will the briefings open up to more reporters sooner than May?

Psaki wrote back quickly: “It means there will be greater access to vaccines for all Americans including reporters earlier than expected. That’s good news. And in terms of the briefing room we rely on the advice of health and medical experts and will continue to do that on when we can expand the number of people safely in the room.”

Of course, that doesn’t answer my questions. I replied again, seeking follow-up on whether the White House will provide Covid vaccines for all White House reporters so we can better serve the public. I also asked about another key detail: “No one has yet explained the metrics of easing restrictions at the White House. Can you? Please?”

As of my deadline I had received no response.

Last week I wrote about Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi, who was murdered at the behest of Saudi prince Mohammed bin Salman. The question I was pounding the White House with at the time: Will there be any sanctions against Saudi Arabia for Khashoggi’s murder? The answer, if you haven’t heard yet, is still no. The murder occurred in 2018, when Trump was president and did nothing. Biden had promised to be tougher on Saudi Arabia, saying as a presidential candidate that he’d treat it like a “pariah.” But he isn’t.

Instead, America continues the same relationship it has had with Saudi Arabia. After all, the Saudis want to buy our weapons, and we like their oil—and the Saudi government didn’t have a lot to do with 9/11 or the bombing of the U.S.S. Cole or other incidents of international terrorism. So the crown prince gets a free pass for murdering an innocent and important columnist who lived in Virginia and worked for an American newspaper.

We expected no response out of Trump. We expected better out of Biden.

Some accuse the press of being too soft on Biden’s White House; others accuse us of being too rough. Those who believe we’re too nice feel Psaki is kindly condescending; they point to how amicable the relationship is between her and the 14 reporters allowed in the briefing room, as well as to the numerous thank-yous interspersed throughout her briefings. Those who feel we’re too hard on the new administration seem to think it’s cruel to even take note of the few missteps the Biden communications team has made so far (see the T.J. Ducklo debacle, for example). “Give them a chance,” some have shouted, or, “You want Trump back?”

Every administration should be held to the same standards. Nobody gets a nod just because they’re not as horrendous as their predecessor. In Trump’s case, a garden slug could crawl across that low bar.

In the spirit of fair treatment, let me offer a compendium of Psaki translations to better understand what she’s saying in the briefing room, just as I did for McEnany.

When Press Secretary Jen Psaki says “interesting question,” she means: I don’t have an answer for this and really don’t want to answer this question.

“With all due respect….” How many times do I have to repeat myself?

“Well, let me first say….” Get ready, I’m going to preach now. (Did I mention we’re better than Trump?)

“I’ve not seen those reports”/“I’m not actually familiar with that.” I’m out of the loop. Holy shit, I’m in over my head.

“We reserve the right to take further steps or additional actions.” We haven’t done anything yet.

“Let me circle back to you”/“I’m happy to follow up on X, Y or Z.” I will mention the issue at a later time with a nonanswer that isn’t a lie and won’t provide you any news. Unlike Trump, I’m not going to get caught not responding to you.

“I’d encourage you to reach out to [insert name of other official] to better answer your question.” Hey, idiot, I don’t have the answers to everything.

“As the president has said…” I can read his press statement out loud, like any of you could. So there.

“We stand by X, Y or Z.” I haven’t directly answered this question and I stand by the nonanswer I previously gave.

“First of all, let’s put this in context.” I’m going to reference this in a manner that makes President Biden look good, no matter if it’s in context or not.

“You may be aware of X, Y or Z, but others may not.” Here’s where I pretend everyone is a grade-school student who needs to be taught. Pull out your pencil and take notes.

“I am sure…but um…uh…and…uh…” What were we talking about again?

“We really aren’t concerned about what the former president says.” Christ, does the guy still get all the oxygen in the room? I mean seriously, we won the damn election!

“We’ll leave that up to Congress.” I ain’t falling for this shit. Land mines ahead!

“We always need to keep communicating effectively.” Listen up, you idiots! And also, by the way, in case I hadn’t mentioned, we’re better than Trump.

“Thank you, everyone.” See, I’m nice. I didn’t yell at you.

“I’m not going to make policy”/“ I’m not going to get ahead of the president”/“I’m not going to speculate.” Look, you’re asking a stupid hypothetical question, and you should know better, you idiot.

“Well, look, we will work with so-and-so on a range of issues, and we look forward to doing that.” Jesus, these idiots. If it’s not the far right making my life difficult, it’s the far left. Everybody, shut up!

“Our best option is…” All the options suck.

“Today we have a special guest.” Now here’s someone else who actually knows something. And, by the way, we’re still better than Trump. Peace out!