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When I was a child I thought body odor was just the smell of my father. That and marijuana. Those were his smells, the way other dads smelled like Old Spice or nothing. I didn’t know B.O. was something everyone could have.
This is all to say that I come to pheromone-maxxing with some history. If you missed it: young men are apparently skipping showers before dates, re-wearing unwashed shirts, and, in some cases, drinking their own urine because they read somewhere that women can’t resist natural musk.
Honestly? I’m for it. Not the pee. I don’t understand the pee, or how it contributes to the musk. What are they doing with the pee? Is it a beverage? Is it topical (in which case, the musk makes more sense, I guess)? Nobody in any of these articles will say, and I’ve decided I don’t want to know. But the unwashed scent part, yes.
Every time I’ve matched with a man on an app, gotten along over text, felt hopeful, I’ve thought one thing: ‘God, I hope he smells good.’ My first thought isn’t, ‘I hope he’s tall,’ or ‘I hope he’s funny in person.’ It’s consistently, ‘I hope he smells good.’ And by good I don’t mean like Old Spice, I mean I hope his natural smell is something that’s attractive to me. If he doesn’t smell right, if his “musk” isn’t compatible with my olfactory glands, it’s not going to work. It doesn’t matter how good the texting was. No amount of banter survives the wrong smell.
There’s science behind this. First, smell is connected to emotion and memory—certain smells can trigger certain feelings, so the smell of someone can provide a powerful sense memory. And, research suggests that a compound derived from testosterone that’s found in men’s sweat can marginally boost “physiological arousal” in women. But also, smelling is real and guttural. It’s the one piece of information an app cannot give you, and, to me, it’s one of the only ones that matters.
The problem is men don’t understand a lot of things. First, they’re basing this off a faulty science. As far as we know, pheromones aren’t really a driver of attraction in humans. Animals, yes. But scientists have not yet been able to pin down an exact human pheromone, and there’s no understanding of whether they trigger sexual response. So the idea of pheromone-maxxing is, unfortunately, inherently flawed.
But, smell works for me and for lots of other women I know, science be damned. So here’s the second thing men are getting wrong. They read “pheromones” and hear “wear the smelly shirt.” No, bro. This is not about the smelly shirt. Nobody has ever smelled a three-day shirt and thought, ‘take me.’ What we want here is a natural scent, not a body odor a la my father. Here is the entire protocol: Have a shower. Put on moisturizer, please, God, moisturize your skin. I am begging you as a woman who has touched the hands of men who don’t. Then, go for a brisk walk while thinking about fucking. That’s it. That’s how the good smell comes out. Think about fucking before you go out and your body handles the rest. You don’t need to layer stinky B.O. on top. We’re going to smell it. Girls have excellent little sniffers. We can sniff out everything.
That can benefit you. It should also scare you. Good luck!